Limericks

[Dave B]

Latest post of the previous page:

Animist!

(Though feeling every one of my 69 years today - not a good one!)

[tom in napa]

Rule Play Limericks

A Pedant:
"I am Anna Pest, Anna Pest."
Again her claim she professed.
"Anna Pest!" she declaimed;
And again, seeming maimed.
Ere to her first line she regressed.

Consonant rhyme, vowel movement:
A new trail I will blaze now, I say.
If you'll follow me soon you will see,
How some teachers will sigh,
"But the rules are not so!"
I suppose a low grade will ensue.

Double consonant rhyme, vowel movement:
I am certain I heard my Lou lie.
Disappointed, I want to lie low.
Because I feel lowly,
I ask "Who did Lee lay?"
And am told he too did lay Lou.

Dactyllic Meter
This is a limerick different.
You can be sure it's no accident.
In its simplicity
Lies its duplicity.
Are you or aren't you now sapient?

And finally:
I'm nearing the end of this paper;
It's been an enjoyable caper.
There's much more I could say,
But I'm such a roue'
And Anna wants me to undrape her.

Enjoy.

[tom in napa]

From Tetenterre:

There once was a man from Peru,
Whose limericks stopped at line two.

From Fia:

So line three was added

From Tom in Napa:

And in Addis Ababa

....

[tom in napa]

There was a young woman in Dallas
Who used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her clit in Buckingham Palace.

[VINDICATOR]

A wonderful bird is the pelican.
His mouth can hold more than his bellycan.
He can hold in his beak
enough food for a week.
But I don't see how in the hellhecan!

[VINDICATOR]

A smiling young lady from Niger'
went off for a ride on a tiger.
They came back from the ride
with the lady inside
and the smile on the face of the tiger!

[animist]

Hi Vindicator, are these your own work? If so, well done. If not, well read and gathered! Happy New Year to you and the rest of the TH gang. On the thread about Happy Holidays, you have replied to Tetenterre - apparently under the impression that he is me. He ain't, but I agree with most of his responses, and I will anyway soon come back with a reply of my own

[VINDICATOR]

Hi, animist,
I am not clever enough to compose such limericks. They entered my ROM many years ago (ha ha) and don't remember the source. Glad you enjoyed them.
Sorry to get you mixed up with Tetenterre, you seem to have similar opinions.
You two and Athena seem to be the pillars of this fine Forum. Keep up the good work. I am especially ingratuated to Athena for her article on the Golden Rule. I recognize only one Commandment and that is The Golden Rule. Everything else is hogwash!

[Tetenterre]

Not original:

A right-handed writer named Wright
In writing "write" always wrote "rite",
When he meant to write "write".
If he'd written "write" right,
Wright would not have wrought rot writing "rite".

Said a boy to his teacher one day,
'Wright has not written "rite" right, I say.'
And the teacher replied,
As the error she eyed,
'Right! Wright: write "rite" right, right away!'

[VINDICATOR]

Tetenterre,
This isn't a limerick but your "write right" reminded me of another game on words:
That that that is is that that is not is not.
That that that is not is not that that is is!
Maybe you can make a limerick out of that?

[Tetenterre]

Also non-limerick, but can you punctuate this to make it make sense?

john where james had had had had had had had had had had had the teachers approval

Also, off topic here but I can't think of where to respond: Re (to animist): "Sorry to get you mixed up with Tetenterre, you seem to have similar opinions." You're obviously quite new here

and
"You two and Athena seem to be the pillars of this fine Forum." I think there are several "pillars" here stronger than I.

[animist]

Vindicator, thanks for the "props" (as I think they say in the US). Anyway, here is a feeble limerick in your honour (seriously, I think limericks should be on every national curriculum!)

There's a person who's called Vindicator,
Of their gender I've no indicator.
They like limericks,
And TH's tricks.
So I hope for their tastes we can cater!

[Tetenterre]

[VINDICATOR]

Here's another 2 limericks I just culled from my ROM:

A tutor who tooted the flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor is it easier to toot
or to tutor two tooters to toot?

There once was a lively young gnu
who got captured and put in the zoo.
The old gnu who was there
came forth from his lair
to hear all the news that the new gnu knew!

Why don't you put all these gems together and publish a book? I'm sure it would be a best seller.

[animist]

looking back at some limericks which I posted in 2014, I am not sure whether they were original to me or not - a bit disturbing. Anyway, Steve, here is one for you:

Despite his name, Steve Tetenterre
Likes to peer around up in the air.
It seems very odd
That he's searching for God
Since he knows that He's not really there!

[Tetenterre]

[Lord Muck oGentry]

An old macaronic limerick:

De tous ces défunts cockolores
Le moral Fénelon,
Michel Ange et Johnson
(Le Docteur) sont les plus awful bores.

From the days before the rudyards ceased from kipling, and the haggards rode no more...

[animist]

An old macaronic limerick:

De tous ces défunts cockolores
Le moral Fénelon,
Michel Ange et Johnson
(Le Docteur) sont les plus awful bores.

From the days before the rudyards ceased from kipling, and the haggards rode no more...

Lord M, you'se no sort of bore
And I'd love to meet you I'm sure.
But unless I's quite thick
This ain't no limerick
Unless of lines you have more

[Alan H]

An old macaronic limerick:

De tous ces défunts cockolores
Le moral Fénelon,
Michel Ange et Johnson
(Le Docteur) sont les plus awful bores.

From the days before the rudyards ceased from kipling, and the haggards rode no more...

Lord M, you'se no sort of bore
And I'd love to meet you I'm sure.
But unless I's quite thick
This ain't no limerick
Unless of lines you have more

[Lord Muck oGentry]

There was a young man from Japan
Who wrote verse that never would scan.
When they said " But the thing
Doesn't go with a swing!"
He said " That's because IputasmanywordsintothelastlineasIpossiblycan."

[animist]

There was a young lad called Pahu,
And evolution he had to eschew.
Nothing could change
Unless God did arrange.
So how come so much here is new?