You have shown that you can think freely and have a decent moral sense as compared to Christians and their less than moral sense that allows them to adore a genocidal God.
John Lennon, “It seems to me that the only true Christians were the Gnostics,”
In fact, many think that the best Christians are Gnostic Christians. Even if you are an atheist, you are likely a better Christian than most Christians as their morals have been corrupted by their beliefs enough to have them adore a vile genocidal God that Gnostic Christians call demiurge. In a sense, not that she exists, but demiurge is equivalent to Satan.
Please remember that Gnostic Christians so not hold any supernatural beliefs and religiously speaking, create much more peaceful people than Christians. The Cathars were a good example of this truth.
Are you close to a Gnostic Christian in how you can think freely and morally?