Music and other stuff at your funeral?

[Maria Mac]

I know a few people have mentioned their choices on other threads but I don't see a thread dedicated just to asking the question, what music would you choose to have at your funeral?

I decided long ago that I'd like the song 'Who knows where the time goes?' probably for a period of reflection. Preferably sung by Sandy Denny but if they couldn't get a good enough recording, someone else would do. I don't have strong ideas for entry or exit music (though a part of me fancies Mozart's Requiem the Lacrimosa for entry). Not really appropriate, I guess.

[Dave B]

My problem is that I am not a fan of music, can never even remember the titles of those songs I listened to a few times more than others.

"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" still appeals, even if it is very much a cliche. Something funny or with a "contra" meaning to my life maybe. Want no service, maybe a eulogy if someone feels like it - but enough booze, food and fun to satisfy everyone. Oh, dress code to include at least one, very visible, item in a bright primary colour. No ties.

Maybe I will write my own words . . .

[animist]

what a good idea for a thread! - simply can't wait to die in order that my attendees will glimpse the truth (of my wonderful musical taste). Trouble is that my problem is the diametric opposite of Dave's: I love so much music that I am spoilt for choice. Please please, don't no one choose "My Way"!!! What a dishonest choice this is - few if any of us did it his/her way. More from me when there is more feedback from you lot

[animist]

My problem is that I am not a fan of music, can never even remember the titles of those songs I listened to a few times more than others.

"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" still appeals, even if it is very much a cliche. Something funny or with a "contra" meaning to my life maybe. Want no service, maybe a eulogy if someone feels like it - but enough booze, food and fun to satisfy everyone. Oh, dress code to include at least one, very visible, item in a bright primary colour. No ties.

Maybe I will write my own words . . .

but hey, what about a bright pink tie? I have one ready

[Dave B]

My problem is that I am not a fan of music, can never even remember the titles of those songs I listened to a few times more than others.

"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" still appeals, even if it is very much a cliche. Something funny or with a "contra" meaning to my life maybe. Want no service, maybe a eulogy if someone feels like it - but enough booze, food and fun to satisfy everyone. Oh, dress code to include at least one, very visible, item in a bright primary colour. No ties.

Maybe I will write my own words . . .

but hey, what about a bright pink tie? I have one ready

Pink not primary colour, but I'll allow it if you wear it with a green tee shirt and yellow trousers!

Later: damn! just realised I won't have much say in the matter at the event! Will have to appoint Clothes Police, with a stock of duitable items of apparell, in my letter of wishes

Sorry, Athena, getting off the music theme a tad.

[Nick]

What a pity I'll miss my own wake.... Music is a huge part of my life, so must feature at my funeral. Like animist, I'm spilt for choice, but how about the "Ashokan Farewell" and Dire Straits "Why Worry?" ?

[jaywhat]

Nothing to do with me and I don't even want a funeral let alone any music. I'll be dead and it is none of my business.

[Maria Mac]

I suppose when I say 'funeral' I mean, in the event of one's mourners choosing to commemorate one's life and person in some way and they really want to know what your choices of music would be. Thoughts about dress and other erm 'rituals' are welcome. I've changed the title accordingly.

That said, I think if I was asked about such things on my deathbed I'd be tempted to say, 'surprise me' and leave it at that.

You can certainly have too much music at a ceremony. Yesterday I attended a memorial service for a Christian friend and there were four hymns and - back to back in the middle - three pieces by a brass band. I enjoy listening to music and communal singing, even of hymns, but this just got boring. It's nice to have music but it's a nicer ceremony if there are more spoken words than music, imo. I encourage families who want to cram too much into a cremation ceremony to keep some of it for the gathering afterwards. Of course, if it's not a funeral but a party somewhere other than a crem or chapel, then they can have all the music they want.

[Dave B]

That said, I think if I was asked about such things on my deathbed I'd be tempted to say, 'surprise me' and leave it at that

.

Yeah, an Irish reprobate Catholic friend's funeral service was so musicfull it got boring. And the Irish can't sing as well as the Welsh.

Still, the church had an excellent bar in the crypt . . .

[kbell]

If I go early I hope my body will be some use to medical research and that if my family and friends want to mark it, they have a fun party with balloons and cake and disco music: Saturday Night Fever would fit the bill.

On the off-chance that I live to a ripe old age and my body is of use to nobody and whoever is left wants a traditional do...I'd probably choose something by Eddie Reader as a piece to listen to. Kiteflyers Hill should get a few tears jerking Bagpipes to reflect my heritage going in and some kind of dance music going out. I love the thought of some of the younger people there trying to resist moving to the music on the way out, lol.

[Dave B]

Hmm, now do I got for


or, to be slightly more ironic

[animist]

my current choice is "I'll Remember April". Lots of reasons for this. I can play it on the piano (and would love to teach humanists who cannot play this thing to do so). Unlike most of my alternative choices, it is a fairly simple popular song with wonderful lyrics which indicate the short-lived, but still valuable, nature of human emotion: the utterer (whom I take to be female) explicitly values this transitory nature of her romantic relationship and celebrates rather than bemoans its ending. Apart from all this, it is a fucking good tune to play, and apart from all this, I am attached to the masterly Bud Powell version, which in 1988 helped me to cope with a rather strange period of depression

[animist]

Nothing to do with me and I don't even want a funeral let alone any music. I'll be dead and it is none of my business.

true, but would you prefer recycling or landfill?

[animist]

my current choice is "I'll Remember April". This is the Bud Powell interpretation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBOcL5Xrw_0

[Ninny]

Nothing to do with me and I don't even want a funeral let alone any music. I'll be dead and it is none of my business.

It is possible to say "straight to crem" to the FD; a proper disposal of the body without ceremony. It's what I want, too.

[Tetenterre]

Assuming (a) I have one and (b) anyone attends, it'll be a captive audience. Music has been a big part of my life, and the captives will have to suffer my musical choices :

Expresses how I've felt for most of my life as an ex-pat Rhodie in England:


... I don't want a miserable sodding funeral, so you'd better have a "happy clappy" option:


... followed by some solemn(ish) reflection:


... I'll let Liam Clancy say "goodbye" for me:


... now get up and dance, you miserable sods: I've mostly had a great life!

[Caring Guy]

I'm a country music lover so it would have to be:

Garth Brooks
First Aid Kit

[Alan H]

I'm a country music lover so it would have to be:

Garth Brooks
First Aid Kit

If you're in your coffin, it'll be a bit late for a First Aid K... Oh. Wait. I see...

[Ken H]

My wife and I have opted out of a funeral - just straight to the burner.

However, my wife might want a memorial service for me in the little chapel at the grave site, where we have a couple of above ground spaces reserved for our urns. In that case, I don't think I want anything modern. Perhaps something like Tchaikovsky's 6th symphony, or some Mozart, softly playing in the background, while the 4 or 5 attendees stand around glimpsing at my ashes.

[animist]

My wife and I have opted out of a funeral - just straight to the burner.

However, my wife might want a memorial service for me in the little chapel at the grave site, where we have a couple of above ground spaces reserved for our urns. In that case, I don't think I want anything modern. Perhaps something like Tchaikovsky's 6th symphony, or some Mozart, softly playing in the background, while the 4 or 5 attendees stand around glimpsing at my ashes.

Ken, you always sound so nice that I'm sure you will have more 5 attendees. So it will not be a fewneral but a manyneral